Funguzz Vizzion: RETRACTION: "I am NOT Dustin the Republican" and a Brief History of Conservatism (which I made up)

Ok, we have a lot to do today at http://jviz.blogspot.com/ , so I hope you all ate your Wheaties. To borrow a line from mighty self-help guru Anthony Robbins, we will be discussing "the power of belief systems"; also, we need to print a RETRACTION, and furthermore, I will run through a brief history of the philosophy known as "conservatism", and I am doing this to be informative. But such an endeavor would certainly require truckloads of research, so instead of doing "truckloads of research" I am going to do a little bit of research, and then fill in the blanks with a combination of wild guessing, and writer's embellishment. Ok, let's get on with this craziness...

RETRACTION!
In one of my recent articles Bob Dylan and Tommy Gnosis on Destiny (Mysteries of the Universe Unraveled!) , which America really needs to read, I referred to my friend Dustin as "Dustin the Republican." Well this is wrong, dammit. Dustin wants to be referred to as "Dustin the conservative." But, I digress...

What is this darn philosophy known as "conservatism"? What does it entail? Ok, let's learn a little bit more....

A BRIEF HISTORY OF CONSERVATISM AND ALSO: CONSERVATISM VS. LIBERALISM

For many centuries, conservatives and liberals, stood side by side, debating each other very cordially, and without incident. Conservatives wanted to adhere to the established way of doing things, and maintain traditional values and social mores. In the words of legendary conservative William F. Buckley: "(We conservatives) stand athwart history, yelling Stop!" ( see Our Mission Statement by William F. Buckley Jr. on National Review Online) And then there were these wacky liberals who were suspicious of authority and the established ways of doing things. Liberals were unhappy with the way things were, and wanted to change and reform traditional society, and make the world "a better place" run by (as Eric Cartman would say) "tree huggin' hippies", who would spend their days, and nights singing of peace, love, and happiness, and putting on Broadway revivals of the musical "Hair." (See YouTube - Hair- Aquarius) Unfortunately for the downtrodden peoples of the world , the liberals were not very good at this...because the world didn't change.

Then came along the 1960's, and the debate between conservatives and liberals was no longer genial, but took a turn for the ugly. This happened when one very grumpy liberal named Gore Vidal got in a fight with famous conservative William F. Buckley Jr., on some news program. (WARNING!: Some offensive language uttered.)

(posted by lliberopoulou at youtube)
For the first time in history, a liberal had the courage to call a conservative a jerk on national television. However, this great victory for liberalism did not last very long, as Richard Nixon won the 1968 presidential election and began unraveling the liberal reforms of the Lyndon Johnson administration. The Nixon administration replaced Johnson's "Great Society" and "war on poverty" with a policy known as "benign neglect." If you don't know what "benign neglect" is, it is sort of a combination of the philosophies "ignore it, and it will go away", and my personal favorite "sit back and wait for a miracle to occur." (for more see: benign neglect: Definition from Answers.com)

(IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE: Another legendary conservative of this era, and perhaps all time, is Barry Goldwater who is author of "Conscience of a Conservative" and other delightful books. He is famous for his straight forward, tell-it- like-it-is way of doing business in American politics. Many of his witty quips are called "Goldwaterisms." If you are like me, and not quite as witty or intelligent as Barry Goldwater, you can make up your own "Goldwaterism" by simply adding the phrase and/or short sentence "I told you what I think, now what the hell else do you want to know!!??" to whatever you say. For example, "The meatballs are cold...I told you what I think, now what the hell else do you want to know!!??" (For more on "Goldwaterisms" see this excellent article: Pieces of Perplexio p: Goldwaterisms)

Ok, Back to the Future... It is not for certain where the philosophy of conservatism is headed in our topsy-turvy world, now is it? Will Sarah Palin take up the mantle and carry it on her back like a brave Eskimo warrior, or are political leaders like Ron Paul the TRUE conservatives? Conservative columnist Jack Hunter of Southern Avenger Charleston City Paper is a fan of Ron Paul's brand of small government, anti-war conservatism, and has many interesting views of the nature of true conservatism. Here is an example of what I'm talking about in Jack Hunter's vid on the late Bob Novak:

As informative as that all was we are not finished yet. Let's learn some more:

CONSERVATIVE FASHION:

Conservatism is not just a political philosophy, but also a way of life. It can affect the food you eat, what sports you play, the music you listen to, the clothes you wear etc. I mean you don't see George F. Will or Rush Limbaugh dressing like THIS do you???? SEE PHOTO BELOW:

So what exactly is "conservative fashion." Well, for the answer to that we turn to young Daxflame. In this vid posted by Daxflame supporter nickn101 at youtube, we can see Dax modeling all the proper conservative fashions that you can wear in the heartland of America and not have people throw cream pies, onions, and stale donuts at you. Enjoy this:

Oh, we could stop here, couldn't we, but NO...in the words of Lord Picklejar, the grand archduke of Hell in the service of Satan, we GO ON! (See: YouTube - ColPicklejar's Channel ) We will end today's trip down bloggery lane where we began...